*I read this, this morning and it makes me think of all of the conversations Jarrod and I have had about how hard it is going to be to see Bo grow up and experience hurt. Experience all of the mean people in this world. Bo has such a sweet, innocent spirit…he loves life with all he’s got. We often talk about the people who are out there who will try hard to crush his sweet spirit. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. Friday night we took him to the gym where they will watch the kids from 6:30-9:00 for parents to have a “date night”. We love to look through the windows and watch him playing when we go pick him up. When we got there he was playing and laughing so hard with a little boy who has Down Syndrome. It absolutely made my heart smile to see that he doesn’t know the difference, to him it was just another little boy wanting to play. I know in this world there are kids who would have not played with this little boy because he was “different”. As we were leaving I told Jarrod…I hope and pray that we will do a good enough job in raising Bo to see everyone as equal regardless of size, shape, color, disabilities, etc…We want him to be strong enough to stand up to the mean kids who would make fun of these little ones. We know it’s inevitable, he is going to face the bullies, the mean kids, we just hope we raise him to see past these people and situations. Is thinking about times like this that make me realize how “easy” the toddler years are.
Part of getting ready for a new baby is child-proofing your home. Though newborn infants are months away from scaling shelving units, emptying kitchen cabinets, or experimenting with the electrical properties of pacifiers, we diligently make the rounds installing gates, cabinet locks, outlet covers, corner pads, furniture anchors, and more – all meant to protect our children from injury. That’s what good parents do, right?
As our children get older, they outgrow these safety devices. They get a handle on what might happen if they tumble down the stairs or stick something in an electrical socket. We relax a little. One-by-one, the little hooks, locks, and bumpers begin to disappear. We start to transition out of the padded cell décor. Consciously or subconsciously, we breathe a little sigh of relief. No more worrying about junior using the entertainment center as a repelling wall. Phew – glad that’s over.
My daughter just turned seven. She knows all about the domestic safety rules. She’s fairly coordinated and knows not to get all daredevil when she’s riding her bike or doing cartwheels. Even though I realize that an accident could happen anywhere at any time, I don’t stay up nights with visions of stitches and splints. I have bigger things to worry about. Now, as I watch my little girl head off into the world each day – climbing aboard that big, yellow school bus – I worry less about her physical safety and more about her emotional happiness. I worry about bullies and mean girls. I worry about injured pride, dashed hopes, and crushed confidence.
When our children are babies, they are – for the most part – safe in our arms. They look to us for all their needs – physical and emotional. As they grow up, we teach them how to stay healthy and safe so that they can go out into the world and come back in one piece. But, there’s only so much we can do to protect their emotions. They will start to look for approval from their friends instead of us. They will put themselves out there in ways that might leave them with broken hearts or dreams or hopes. And there’s not much a mother can do, except be there to pick up the pieces. Going through these experiences is just part of growing up … for our kids, and for us.
There is a part of me that wishes I could child-proof the world for my daughter. I wish I could remove all threat of harm, fill her world with only kindness and love, clear her path for success and happiness. But I know that even if I was able to do all that, it would be wrong. The experience of living in the world – the Real World – is what helps us grow. If I was to remove all hardship from my little girl’s life, I would be robbing her of the chance to grow stronger, smarter, and – most importantly – more compassionate. It will break my heart to stand by and watch her go through difficult times, but I will take comfort in knowing that every challenge she faces will ultimately give her a confidence in her own ability to overcome. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and so it must be with our kids as well. At least we can be there with the chocolate chip cookies and hugs.
