One Year Ago Today...

...our lives changed forever! One year ago today we were vacationing in Hilton Head with some of our dear friends...enjoying the beach, doing what we wanted when we wanted, observing all of our friends, as we were the only ones without kids and realizing how lucky we were to just relax and not deal with naps, bottles, diapers, etc... One year ago today we knew something was a little off so we decided to take a pregnancy, knowing there was NO possible way we could be pregnant, but it would ease our minds and I could go back to enjoying my margaritas. One year ago today...the PLUS SIGN+

Let me rewind a little...last March/April we decided to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. Bergh. We went to see him because at the time I was having problems with my endometriosis. I was hoping we'd just do a quick surgery and all would be better, however since I was married now I had to consider the ability to have children. I had already had 4 surgeries for my endo and I didn't want to risk causing more damage. Dr. Bergh decided to run tests on both Jarrod and myself. I was a little confused because we were not ready to start our family, I simply just wanted to feel better. So after weeks of tests we find out...I had lost egg potential due to my previous surgeries, Jarrod (sorry honey) after not one, but two tests had less than a 5% chance to reproduce naturally, the verdict...we would not be able to get pregnant on our own, we would have to pursue in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and according to the doctor we needed to do it within the year. Our world came crashing down as we sat there and listened to this. How would we afford IVF? Our timeline for having a family was being moved up tremendously, and the emotional dissapointment of not being able to have a child on our own...it was so hard to hear. We decided to get off of birth control as the doctor assured us there was "nothing for it to prevent". One month later...SURPRISE!!!! I guess God decided he would show them who really is the boss!

For some really weird reason, I'll never understand I decided to throw a pregnancy test in my suitcase when I was packing. I knew I was late, but figured it was my body adjusting to being off of birth control. We woke up on Wed, June 6th about 7:30 and we both were like...let's just take the test and be done with it so we can enjoy our vacation. I remember telling Jarrod to let me know when 3 minutes was up. As he lay on the bed about 10 seconds later I walked out and all I could say was "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!!!!" Jarrod was like...it hasn't been 3 minutes! I said GET IN HERE NOW! Jarrod said "what does this mean" and my response "I think this means we're pregnant". Jarrod being the "no grey area" kind of person was like "What do you mean you THINK we're pregnant?" At the time all common sense went out the window as I just stared at the plus sign. He asked for the directions...guess what I hadn't packed? I had just taken the test out of the box and thrown it in my suitcase. So we ran to get the keys to a friend's car and headed off to the nearest drug store where we bought not one, not two, but THREE more pregnancy tests. All we could think was how is this possible??? We went back to the house and took the digital test that said--Pregnant/Not Pregnant...again no grey area! I'll never forget us standing there in this tiny bathroom staring at this little stick while it blinked to show it was working. It was the longest few seconds of my life. Next thing we see..PREGNANT!!! All we could think was how did this happen, it isn't possible??? I called my nurse explained what was going on and I kept saying how did this happen? Her response "you weren't stressed out about it" I laughed and said that was NOT in the diagnosis, Dr. Bergh said we'd never get pregnant on our own! She had us come in the next Monday, June 11th where we got to see our little guy for the first time. Of course it was more like a black dot, but there it was...a baby, the impossible, the greatest gift from God.

The rest of the vacation we just walked around in a daze, our friends loved it as they knew what we were experiencing. Jarrod drank enough for both of us and didn't sleep for 4 nights straight. I held off on getting too excited until we went to the doctor. Thoughts of where will we live, we can't afford NJ, the cost of daycare, will I stay at home, would I mentally be able to handle staying at home, finances, freedom, career, our entire life was upside down, not to mention the fact we had only been married for 6 months! What about our time together? I've been told that even when you are trying you are still shocked when it happens...to me that's nothing compared to not trying, and even more thinking it's not even possible. God truly has a plan for each and every one of us which we have no control over. His timing is everything. We were scared to death and had no idea what we were doing or how to prepare, but as I sit here today already covered in spit up this morning and a house full of baby toys, bottles, diapers, etc I can't imagine my life without him. I've never felt a love like this before...He is my life and I am so grateful!

One Year Ago Today...

TODAY...