- I have this little creature inside of me who is using my bladder as a trampoline so YES I have to pee every 30 minutes, please don’t ask “didn’t you just go 5 minutes ago?” this also requires I know where the bathrooms are in every public location so if you can help me scope them out that would be great!
- I do not need your opinion on having another c-section…I had one before, I know what I’m in for and I would prefer not to risk having my uterus rupture!
- When people ask what we’re having and I say I don’t know that means, I really don’t know…not trying to keep a secret, not trying to be sneaky we just don’t know!!
- If you think the fact we didn’t find out is a bad idea, tough!!! You had your babies your way, now let us have ours, our way!
- Bending over is getting harder and harder…why must everything land on the floor?
- When I say my back hurts the proper response is NOT “well look at all the extra weight you’re carrying”
- When I’m having a “moment” just please ignore me. I don’t need to hear how hormonal I am, I am very much aware of that!
- I AM hormonal which means…I reserve the right to… yell, scream, cry, laugh, be indecisive, be mad, be frustrated and any other emotion I forgot. And chances are these emotions can and probably will all hit at the exact same time so be prepared!!
- I’ve entered the nesting phase and if I feel the need to repaint a bedroom because I didn’t like the color it was just painted, then just let me do it!!
- If I decide to start a project at 10:00 at night because I want it done “right now” just go with it especially if I’m not asking for your help. If you don’t know me well I’m a “right now” kind of person pregnant or not.
- I’m TIRED!!! All the time, I am tired!!! It’s only going to get worse. So if running errands, cleaning the house, and chasing a 3 yr old all day makes me want to go to bed early or take a nap, so be it!
- My belly does not contain a magnet! If we are friends then fine, but if we aren’t that close or I don’t know you I would prefer you keep your hands to yourself.
- I don’t need your thoughts on breastfeeding vs bottle feeding…I got enough of this with my first pregnancy! I do hope to breastfeed, but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work I’m not going to stress over it. And just because you breastfed your child til they were 5 does NOT mean your child will be the next Rhodes scholar…I’m just sayin’
- I cannot walk fast…try strapping on 25 extra pounds to include a 4 lb bag of sugar onto your stomach and see how quickly you move! So…to my husband please slow down, you are 6’5 and I am 5’5 I couldn’t keep up with you to begin with. To strangers…GO AROUND me, oh and if you are going to be kind and let me cross the street then be patient it’s going to be a while. I don’t need you to keep inching your way up. Oh and please don’t wait on me to unload my groceries, load my child in the car, return the grocery cart to it’s stand and then drive away, you’re going to be there til tomorrow it will be much easier for you to park two spaces over!
- When I say I’m hungry and need food, that typically means immediately. Not 5, 10, or 15 minutes later…RIGHT NOW!!
- I’m hot all the time so if it’s too cold in the house to you go put on a jacket!
- I don’t sleep which makes me even more tired…if I’m not getting up to pee, it’s heartburn, or the fact I have a Mexican jumping bean in my stomach who parties all night long. So if I wake up and don’t look quite chipper don’t ask “did you not sleep?”
- To the doctors…I will never understand why you must take our blood pressure after you weigh us…who isn’t going to have high blood pressure after that???
- And lastly to my 3 year old…mommy is not a jungle gym or punching bag so please, please, please watch the kicks and punches…I’m getting enough of that from the inside!
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